HOW TO ACHIEVE MORALITY?

When a person is born, he is neither good nor bad. Education has an important place in a human developing bad behaviors or good morals. The family, as the place where education begins, is the first environment in which good morals will be acquired. Therefore, parents should teach their children religious, individual and social values while teaching basic things such as eating, drinking, and acquiring cleaning habits. Moral values such as honesty, not to lie, not to slander, to avoid waste, and to respect people are values that should be brought into the family for children who are still in the learning and growing stage.

The best way of moral education is to set an example. Parents' advice to their children as "do this, don't do that" is not enough to teach them moral values. Parents who want to educate their children and teach them moral values should first do the things they want themselves,  and abstain from the things they do not want themselves. Parents who lie cannot teach their children that lying is bad. Similarly, parents who are stingy cannot teach their children moral values such as generosity, cooperation and sharing.

Teaching through experience is also one of the training methods of the prophets. The fact that Allah (swt) sent prophets and divine books to educate people shows that human behavior can be changed through education. Because the prophets set an example for people with their morality and educated societies.

The moral values gained in the family will lead to the emergence of individuals with morality. Moral individuals, on the other hand, will ensure the formation of a morally ideal and desirable society. The following hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) expresses the importance of moral education in the family in the best way: “There is no gift that a father gives his son more virtuous than good manners.” (Tirmidhi, Birr, 33)

Knowing that something is morally good requires doing it. It is a contradiction to know that something is good and yet do what is bad. This shows that knowing or expressing that a behavior is bad is not morally sufficient. According to this, the essential thing is to do the behaviors that are known to be good and to avoid the behaviors that are known to be bad. This fact shows us that morally, behavior is more important than knowledge. Particular attention should be paid to this principle in moral education. The main goal in moral education is not for children to know good or bad behaviors, but to reflect this knowledge on their practices and behaviors. 

The society they live in also has an effect on people's morally good or bad characteristics. Individuals who grow up in a society with morally good qualities will also grow up adopting the morals of that society. Likewise, the circle of friends that children are in has an important effect on their being good and moral. The proverb “man is known by the company he keeps” expresses that the moral characteristics of a person will be shaped according to his circle of friends. Therefore, just as everyone should be careful when choosing their own circle of friends, parents should also pay attention to whom their children make friends with. Being aware of the examples of immorality and some faults we see in our circle of friends or in the society and trying to keep ourselves away from these faults will help us in achieving morality.

As a being with reason and will, man can improve his morals with his own efforts. (Gazali, Ihya, III, s. 134-137)In this way, by avoiding misbehaviors such as arrogance, self-love, contempt for others and envy, people will have the opportunity to enhance their morals with good behaviors such as giving alms, helping those in need, and behaving in a friendly manner. Because the things that are done continuously, even if it is little, become a second nature in the person. When the Prophet Muhammad (saw) was asked “Which deed is the best in the eyes of Allah?” he answered, “The acts most pleasing to Allah are those which are done continuously, even if they are small.” (Muslim, Musafirin, 216). Just as a person who does the same job every day gains mastery in that job, behaviors that are repeated continuously become morals in the person. 

The following verse shows that a person can control his emotions and behaviors with his own effort: “But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from [unlawful] inclination, then indeed, Paradise will be [his] refuge.” (Nazi'at, 79/40-41) A Muslim who was not able to get a good discipline when he was very young and who has some moral misconduct should never lose hope. He should not forget that he can improve his behavior and achieve good morals at any age. In this regard, he should try to abandon bad behaviors with perseverance, determination and patience. Again, even if a Muslim has committed many sins and made many mistakes, he should not forget that Allah is forgiving, loves to forgive His servants, and accepts their tawbah, that is, their repentance and asking forgiveness for their sins. Our Lord tells us in the Qur'an that we should never be hopeless about this issue:  “Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning],  do not despair of the mercy of Allah.  Indeed, Allah forgives all sins.  Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."(Zumar, 39/53)

The Prophet Muhammad (saw) also has many reminders about Allah's forgiveness: “If anyone says in the morning or in the evening: "O Allah! You are my Lord; there is no god but You, You have created me, and I am Your servant and hold to You covenant and promise as much as I can;  I seek refuge in You from the evil of what I have done: I acknowledge Your favor to me, and I acknowledge my sin; pardon me, for none but You pardons sins, and dies during the daytime or during the night." he will go to Paradise.” (Abu Dawud, Adab, 100,101) When our mother A'ishah asked Him how to pray on the Night of Qadr, He taught us the following prayer in her person: “O Allah! Indeed You are Pardoning, [Generous,] You love pardon, so pardon me.” (Ibn Majah, Dua, 5)